A False Mixology Prophet Speaks

| 0 Comments
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore! In the current issue of Nightclub & Bar Magazine is an article by Stephen Cunningham entitled, "Being Your Beverage Best." In the middle of the first page in large font is a prominently featured drink recipe for "The Best Cosmopolitan Ever." Yup, finally someone has devised the best version of the cocktail. Unfortunately for mankind, the drink bares only faint resemblance to the most popular drink of the last decade. 

            Curious what this mixology guru rates as the best Cosmopolitan ever? 

 

THE BEST COSMOPOLITAN EVER

In a mixing glass:

1/4 teaspoon super-fine sugar (or 1 sugar cube)

Fresh juice of 1/2 medium lime (1/2 ounce)

Stir or muddle for five seconds

Fill glass with ice

3 1/2 ounces premium vodka

Dash of premium orange liqueur

Dash of cranberry juice

Shake until sugar is all dissolved

Strain into a Martini shell

Garnish with a lime.

 

            Promoting this as a Cosmopolitan, no less the best Cosmopolitan recipe ever, is a travesty. To begin with, unless it is being billed as some creative variation of the cocktail, the famed Cosmopolitan is made with citrus-infused vodka such as Absolut Citron. A mere dash of orange liqueur and cranberry juice? No, minimally the drink calls for a 1/2 ounce of these modifiers, for an approximate ratio of one part orange liqueur, one part cranberry juice, one part lime juice to 3 parts citrus vodka. If a dash equates to a little less than a 1/4 ounce, then this recipe calls for 14 parts vodka, 1 part orange liqueur, 1 part cranberry and one part lime juice. Can that still be called a Cosmo?

            Also, hasn't this guy heard of simple syrup? And what's with "muddle for five seconds" business? When did we start timing how long to muddle ingredients? Isn't it more a matter of ensuring that the ingredients have been thoroughly muddled (crushed)?

            But wait, there's more. The sage Mr. Cunningham then provides us with another prominently featured recipe entitled, "The Best Margarita Ever."

 

THE BEST MARGARITA EVER

In a mixing glass:

1/2 teaspoon super-fine sugar (or 2 sugar cubes)

Fresh juice of 1 medium lime (1 ounce)

Stir or muddle for five seconds

Fill glass with ice

2 1/2 ounces premium tequila

1/2 ounce premium orange liqueur

Shake

 

            The author claims that "If you get a Margarita of this quality to your customers' lips, you very well may ruin them for anybody else's Margarita." Not likely.

            Mr. Cunningham, there are many ways to gain a reputation, publishing seriously flawed drinks recipes will garner you only notoriety. If celebrated mixologists the likes of Gary Regan, Tony Abou-Ganim, Dale DeGroff, Audrey Saunders, Francesco LaFranconi, Dave Wondrich, Richard Carlton Hacker, or other prominent spirits authors get wind of your writings, I strongly suggest that watch your back during recess.

            My advice is to attend bartending school.

Leave a comment

Recent Entries

They're Talkin' 'Bout Us!
50 Ideas - Increasing Sales Without Raising Prices…
The Las Vegas Nightclub & Bar Show Turns 25
     The first time I attended the Nightclub & Bar Show in Las Vegas was in 1987. I had…
Tales of the Cocktail '09
Tales of the Cocktail New Orleans, Louisiana July 8th-12th, 2009 If you enjoy making cocktails, enjoy drinking cocktails or…