SO THIS GUY WALKS INTO A BAR...

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I had occasion to visit with F. Paul Pacult at the recently concluded Cheers Beverage Conference and was once again the better for it. During our chat he told me about his afternoon outing with Dale DeGroff. For the benefit of first time visitors to Earth, Paul is our planet's leading authority on spirits and all things alcohol and Dale is known simply as the King Cocktail, and deservedly so. 

            During a break in the Conference, the two went to a bar that had come highly recommended. They grabbed bar stools and after the bartender had approached, Dale ordered a Bull Shot. Without missing a beat the bartender responded, "Oh yah, sorry, I don't do that."

            According to Paul, Dale's face deepened to a deep crimson and his fingers gouged into the bar rail. Moments later, disgust dripping off every utterance, the nation's leading authority on mixology ordered a Bloody Mary, relieved when the bartender left his sight.

            If the individual in question is reading this, you pissed off the greatest bar guest you or anyone else could ever hope to entertain. Nice move!

            Bartenders, for the record, what you say to guests matters!

            I too recently had a similarly disturbing encounter. An associate of mine and I were scoping out a client's competitor. We sidled over to the bar and waved the bartender over. He was in his mid-20s, presentable and appeared competent. That illusion was shattered when I asked him for a recommendation on what drink. His thoughtful response was that a lot of people seem to like vodka and orange juice. Now that's an example of someone thinking outside the box.

            To be honest, however, I think I may be partially responsible for these and innumerably other disconnects. I mean...me and everyone else who has ever been responsible for hiring and training bartenders. We obviously dropped the ball.

            All these years we may have been preoccupied with hiring bartenders who could make drinks quickly and efficiently, tell a joke or two, and leave the stainless behind the bar clean and dry. We stressed opening and closing procedures. I know I harp on strict adherence to cash controls. I warn bartenders about cutting garnishes with dull knives, lifting kegs without bending their knees, and sometimes counsel them on the difficulties of managing a predominantly cash income. Like you, I'm a stickler about details and I make sure that I let bartenders know that they're stepping into a well-oiled machine.

            Well, I think you and I may have forgotten to stress one crucial thing, something so fundament and self-evident that we thought it went without saying. Man, it's the most important thing, too. All right, bartenders, here goes:

            "Always take care of the guests. Regardless of any particular circumstances that may arise, always take care of the guests."

            That means if you don't know what a Bull Shot is, find out. Ask the guest, another bartender, a dishwasher, just find out what the drink is, make it perfectly and take care of the guest.

            That means that if someone asks you for a suggestion on what to drink, care enough to recommend something that will wow the guest. Yah, vodka and orange juice. Great call!

 

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